one of the many ways to represent juggling patterns is through so-called \emph{juggling cards}. these are templates which describe the spatial ordering of a set of balls at each point in a juggling pattern. in this talk we describe a number of new combinatorial and probabilistic results in the study of these objects, and state some related, unsolved problems. attendees are welcome to bring their own chainsaws or lit torches for the interactive portion of the talk.